Even when you have come to the end
and you want to write whatever comes out.
And let it go.
You are in the box.
You type into a made up box on a screen
I'm typing on little boxes right now...
inside a bigger box
As I look out of my boxed window
On my box bed.
In my box room.
In my box house.
In a neighborhood of boxes.
Who come to and from their boxes,
with moving boxes.
Moving boxes, into box parking spots.
To go to the boxed in park
To the boxed in school
work
show

to meet people with boxed in minds,
and boxed up hearts.




Can't look at me. Judging others inside, the little things you don't say, just mouth shut. Acting like it's not your place. You shut up,because you don't care... Just it keep on in there. Boil it inside of you. Hold everything that makes you happy so close to you that no-one else can see it. I understand why you would want to. The great disappointment of people, and false concepts of what they are supposed to be. No-one can be what you need them to be. No action can be perfectly explained. People are what they are. Every reason has been used and unexcused. All those wastes of time... what makes you any different. Your the only one that allows yourself to be affected by the disappointment you set on other people. What human has that right? I'll never know you, because you'll die inside yourself. Until you realize that the things you hate and the things you love are the same.







Do you feel good shoving your vanity and self worth into faces? Do you even know if you do? Because no madder how damn pretty that smile is, or your acting can get.. can't run away from who you know...do you like to flaunt your insecurities to me, not just me, so you can be told just what you want to hear ..need to hear? Or do you do it for your own pleasure.. makes you feel higher than me. More intelligent than me..I'm done with false mysteries your translucent.









You don't love me, perhaps the idea of me, something secure and compassionate. You just want something to call it. Because everyone in this fucking world seems to have the need to define. Forcing your own conclusions. Making your decisions and actions justified but never mine. Seems to have a really easy time calling out when I fuck something up, or I don't call back, or whatever the is wrong with me. But I don't say shit when I'm used, I don't call you out when your a arrogant narrow minded fuck, when you sit and cry about all the horrible things in your life. Ask me to help you. Ask me to understand. Maybe I didn't pick up because it hurts to talk to you because some things don't go back to the way it was. But when I'm in the dark, Im negative, I don't care, I'm not being a good friend......did you once think maybe it has nothing to fucking do with you. Or it has everything to do with you but there is no use in explaining when you don't want to understand. Things I've seen for so long being ignored... when I decide to close one eye, you finally open one.







You are the most beautiful of all sadness. Seeing people you love, become to morph into something almost frightfully different from the person you met. Change, found comforts that were never there before. The new strength in someone's voice. Quiet but no longer still. Light on the ground, one in a million. Unconscious but not un caring to the world. Like most things I tend to love, find their own way.

The day has come.
I see myself as everyone.
I am what´s all around me
No, nothing... it just cannot be
Feeling has come from the sun.
Like most everything and everyone.
What seems lost is free from the force that slowly destroys us.
Well, we don´t control the chance that plays with us.
We get existence back by hurting others.
And when we go the other way it´s ourselves we hurt.
But who pushes on through eventually will see,
Every moment´s first
What´s gone will never come back,
But it exists when you think of it.
And what is anything, anyway?
But a series of things running through your brain.

All of the fucked things you do,
Are the product of what's happened to you.
There´s only the forces of hate and love
One break things down and one build them up...

Placebo
Moby
tori
all new albums all on tour
buy those tickets anna, im serious

I wish I could
make the world as pure and strange as what i see

I'd put you in the mirror
I put in front of me

People, in the end are going to do whatever they want.
it doesn't matter who it is, or who else is involved.
In the end, people want what they want and they will find any excuse to make it justified.
No-one is safe.

Do you ever have all these interesting thoughts, so good you wish you could just write it down. It usually comes when I am driving in the car, alone. Then when I come back and try to remember, it's gone. Its just out of my mind. Sometimes I think they are just gifts that are given to us, telling us we have more power than even our minds can understand....it's worth nothing and takes nothing. No evidence, no trace just you and a passing thought. Sometimes I get so upset, try to think back or ideas are flying by me, and I want to stay on one but it's already gone. Like it was never there.

It's like wisdom to me. What the fuck is wisdom? Apparently, wisdom is having gained knowledge, understanding, experience, discretion, and intuitive understanding, along with a capacity to apply these qualities well.If we can't remember all those little things we think of, or come up with where do they all go..do they just leave or do they stay. Maybe all wisdom is relearning and hearing the same thoughts and conclusions so many times we actually start to figure out ourselves and the world we create around us.

In other words, maybe all we have learned we have always known and know already but its a matter of listening and remembering. Is older, wiser? Maybe if the person is wise to begin with. Fuck man, this why I cant stand words and what is this and what is that...in the end its a word, that we as humans created to put a name to an action that no-one really understands.

SO my ankle is FUCKED.

NICE
It's all been said

byeeee

Just smokin
and rollin
and smokin some more

the 15th, yeah, thats the day

Love you all

So yeah yeah, Ive done
Done what I have done.
I rock the band
I BBQ my life
and Smoke week everyday
Folklife is this week = Drughighlife all week
Im going to See Radiohead man. AUG 20. It's about time.

Ill be home pretty soon...
Whats going on, on the EAST June....

HUGE YARD SALE
at my house is coming up
Collabortions in the future? I think so!

I miss everyone. You know.

It's been crazy, mad crazy times on the hill.
But its coming together
MMhmm. THE ONLY LOVE THATS RIGHTOUS ISTHELOVEOFJAH!

Current Music: MOONMEN

Number one lesson learned:

Surround yourself only with those who love life, love themselves, and love you.

Even if that means being alone sometimes becuase its not about who can putt up with shit, it's about the shit never starting to begin with.